Love,where are you now?
What is this thing called love?
A typical response would be that it is a positive emotion; one of regard and affection. Those enamored by it, romanticizes it. In this, Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet is the standard bearer for love. Here love takes the form of romance. Romantic love-the legendary red-hot lovers!
On a higher plane, love is more than just emotions and feelings. It goes beyond mere sex and intimacy. Love is projected to be patient, kind and not envious. It is neither boastful, rude nor self-seeking. It is not quick to anger and it is not deceitful. Love is forgiving, trusting and it perseveres. It is unchanging.
(I Corinthians: 13:4-7)
Such love is focused on always giving to the other person. Through giving love, we receive love in return.
If we are to hold on to this ideal, all encompassing definition of love, then can love be achievable? Is it sustainable as well?
The Christians believed that this is possible because they have the Lord deep within their bosom.
For our discourse, let us look at 5 dimensions of love.
These are the physical, the emotional, the mental, the social, and the spiritual dimensions. The first three are basically feel-driven; pertaining more to the physical domain.
The social and spiritual dimensions, however, are more in conformance with societal and religious norms and beliefs of the day.
The first three dimensions are visible and tangible. We can see and feel it. It is manifested by physical attraction, touching and holding, intimacy and love-making. It includes lust-sexual love. Herein, the mental processes are honed to conquer and to ravish. Love is romanticized. Highly charged emotions take over. Sex is one hot commodity. The good feeling is all important.
On a stand-alone basis, this kind of love is immediately gratifying,temporarily satisfying the flesh but unsustainable.
The only love that is sustainable will be one that is founded on the spiritual dimension-a commitment to keep the love going and further reinforced by a social dimension to maintain marriage and the family system.
The Malaysian society today has become complex. It has become confused. Traditional values have broken down. Globalization and Technology have made their imprints on our once cherished value system. Westernization particularly from Hollywood and MTV has influenced our impressionable youths. Cellular phones and SMS have made communication between the sexes so much easier. Sex is no longer sacrosanct.
Marriages are breaking down. Families have become dysfunctional and divorces are commonplace. Religions that once hold sway now lack appeal. The need to reinstate traditional good values has become more pressing. That is the general feeling.
Has the traditional concept of love been hijacked? Is the concept no longer relevant? Many have argued what has sex to do with marriage. The today generation manifests western values. As much as the elders want to preserve the good oriental value system, we are deceiving ourselves as if these efforts can be sustained. We are facing a tsunami of change. We are losing ground.
Today love is just a password to a short-term relationship. A fling - a roll in the hay. Have fun while it last. Let us enjoy our youth while we have the beauty, the body and energy on our side. Gratify, gratify, gratify! Let tomorrow take care of itself.
On a higher plane, love is more than just emotions and feelings. It goes beyond mere sex and intimacy. Love is projected to be patient, kind and not envious. It is neither boastful, rude nor self-seeking. It is not quick to anger and it is not deceitful. Love is forgiving, trusting and it perseveres. It is unchanging.
(I Corinthians: 13:4-7)
Such love is focused on always giving to the other person. Through giving love, we receive love in return.
If we are to hold on to this ideal, all encompassing definition of love, then can love be achievable? Is it sustainable as well?
The Christians believed that this is possible because they have the Lord deep within their bosom.
For our discourse, let us look at 5 dimensions of love.
These are the physical, the emotional, the mental, the social, and the spiritual dimensions. The first three are basically feel-driven; pertaining more to the physical domain.
The social and spiritual dimensions, however, are more in conformance with societal and religious norms and beliefs of the day.
The first three dimensions are visible and tangible. We can see and feel it. It is manifested by physical attraction, touching and holding, intimacy and love-making. It includes lust-sexual love. Herein, the mental processes are honed to conquer and to ravish. Love is romanticized. Highly charged emotions take over. Sex is one hot commodity. The good feeling is all important.
On a stand-alone basis, this kind of love is immediately gratifying,temporarily satisfying the flesh but unsustainable.
The only love that is sustainable will be one that is founded on the spiritual dimension-a commitment to keep the love going and further reinforced by a social dimension to maintain marriage and the family system.
The Malaysian society today has become complex. It has become confused. Traditional values have broken down. Globalization and Technology have made their imprints on our once cherished value system. Westernization particularly from Hollywood and MTV has influenced our impressionable youths. Cellular phones and SMS have made communication between the sexes so much easier. Sex is no longer sacrosanct.
Marriages are breaking down. Families have become dysfunctional and divorces are commonplace. Religions that once hold sway now lack appeal. The need to reinstate traditional good values has become more pressing. That is the general feeling.
Has the traditional concept of love been hijacked? Is the concept no longer relevant? Many have argued what has sex to do with marriage. The today generation manifests western values. As much as the elders want to preserve the good oriental value system, we are deceiving ourselves as if these efforts can be sustained. We are facing a tsunami of change. We are losing ground.
Today love is just a password to a short-term relationship. A fling - a roll in the hay. Have fun while it last. Let us enjoy our youth while we have the beauty, the body and energy on our side. Gratify, gratify, gratify! Let tomorrow take care of itself.
Love – a second hand emotion, where are you now?
Quote of the Day
" Give your hands to serve and your hearts to love." - Mother Teresa
Heartsong-Heartstrong
6 comments:
Hi there
Very good post.
This is my view though. Love is an action, not just a feeling. Ppl have to learn that once the feeling of love wanes, it's the actions that sustain it, which is the hard part.
In the current world of instant gratification, it can't be helped that sex sells.
The important thing here is that ppl have to realise that in the end, it's the people that matter, not the sex, not the fun, not the flings or whatever.
Cheers.
Dar Derek,
When I was in Sri Lanka back in the mid 80's I was with an elderly gentleman. Together, we were watching the early morning sunrise over the horizon of Colombo.
Then, I asked him privately what is his secret for a happily married life. He replied; after the initial romantic loving has all gone,what was left is commitment. He takes commitment seriously and hence a sustaining married life.
Romantic love is mostly in the mind. Commitment is always in the heart.
Thanks for visiting my blog.
Regards
It should read; "Dear Derek"
Truly agree with the wiseman.. Romance are like the colourful feathers of peacock attracting attention. After that, it's a whole different ball game.
so true.
but how many young men out there are willing to get this kind of true commitment when lust and flesh are everywhere?
Those who voice out "I'd realize I have no feelings for you"....sores the most in loneliness by the end of the night.
Thankyou for this entry. It summarizes pretty much how much I agree on the value of a lasting relationship. Even christians have temptations too.
"Once bitten twice shy."
=) Yvonne.
Yvonne,
It's difficult to be Christlike.
Oftentimes, we succumb easily to physical gratification,compromising our core principles for selfish intimacy and wanton sex.
It's the way of the modern world particularly in an urban setting; where values are given little credit and standing.
Physical attraction and loneliness will compel one to to seek intimacy and sex. For a man, every opportunity to ravish a lady counts. For a woman, they need to get over their loneliness. If there is no relationship potential, once they had their fill of fun, they will both leave.
It's one more notch on the totem pole of sexual conquests.
I know it is sad and dreary, almost hopeless in many cases.
Anyway, thanks for dropping by my blog.
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